Friday, August 1, 2008

Interview With A Governing Body Member (GBM)

Interview of a Member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses By Michael [We have been asked to keep his identity secret, he will only be referred to as GBM]
US: Thanks for taking time to be interviewed, you don’t do this often
GBM: We tend to be ridiculed by the media
US: Gee, I wonder why?
GBM: See, you’re doing it
US: Sorry, I just thinking out loud
GBM: Try to respect us as much as we respect you
US: [Laughing]
GBM: Are you mocking me?
US: No, no, not at all. Its just that you don’t seem to respect anyone, other than yourselves
GBM: That’s because we have the TRUTH
US: I see… could you explain how you came to have the "truth"?
GBM: Jesus chose us in 1918 US: Why?
GBM: Because of all the religions in the world only we were preaching about 1914
US: And…
GBM: And, Jesus returned in 1914. Although we thought he came back in 1874, we were preaching about 1914.
US: Weren’t you preaching that the "end of all kingdoms" or the end of the world in 1914
GBM: Yes, I didn’t say anything we were preaching about 1914 was true, but we were the only ones preaching it.
US: So you were chosen as the channel of truth because you were wrong?
GBM: No, because we were right
US: What were you right about
GBM: The year 1914, Jesus returned then
US: I thought you said that Jesus returned in 1874
GBM: He did, I mean, we thought he did, but he corrected us
US: When did he "correct" you
GBM: The light got brighter on that in 1943
US: The light???
GBM: Yes, you see the light gets brighter and brighter
US: Oh so you were writing without the lights on, that certainty explains some of the weird stuff you’ve written
GBM: Not the "lights", the "light" as in "new light"
US: So you bought new bulbs….
GBM: No, new light is a spiritual thing it has nothing to do with lights
US: Where does this new light come from
GBM: Jesus gives it to us
US: How
GBM: He guides us
US: How does he guide you
GBM: He corrects his slave, just as he did with the apostles
US: I will come back to the slave thing in a minute, so Jesus talks to you
GBM: No, no, no. You’re mocking me.
US: No I’m not, I am just trying to understand how Jesus corrects you
GBM: When we feel something needs changing, we change it
US: Yes, but how is Jesus involved in this
GBM: Jehovah guides us with his holy spirit
US: Why are you being so vague on this? How do you receive this divine guidance, do you have dreams or visions, a voice from heaven, or what?
GBM: No all that stuff is from Satan. When God wants us to change we change, its just that simple.
US: Forgive me for asking this again, but, how does God do that?
GBM: I already told you, he guides us
US: Yes, but you have never said how God guides you
GBM: I think you’re asking all these questions because you are opposed
US: So you can’t tell me how God guides you
GBM: Its just to deep for you to understand
US: Oh, its deep all right…
GBM: See, you mock what you don’t understand
US: I’m trying to understand, you’re just not answering the question
GBM: Look, I know a lot more than you do and even I don’t understand it
US: So you’re sure God is guiding you, you’re just not sure how?
GBM: Exactly
US: Okay, so tell us about this "slave" thing
GBM: Jesus prophesied in Matt 24:45 that upon his return he would find a faithful and discreet slave doing the masters bidding and he would place him over all his belongings. So in 1918 he appointed us over all his belongings
US: But didn’t you say that you were wrong about 1874 and 1914? Why would Jesus pick you and why did he take 3 years to do it?
GBM: I’ve already told you he picked us because we were the only ones on earth looking forward to 1914
US: But what you were looking forward to was wrong
GBM: Yes, but the year was right
US: So you were right because you were wrong
GBM: Yes… I mean no, we were right that the year was significant we just didn’t understand it US: Huh?
GBM: We understood that 1914 was marked in Bible prophecy
US: But you were wrong about everything that was supposed to happen in that year, correct? GBM: But we were pointing to that year and we were vindicated when WWI broke out
US: How’s that?
GBM: It was a turning point in history, and we were right about that
US: Not really, you predicted the end of the world, not a world war
GBM: The end of the world is a turning point in history! So we were right, in a sense.
US: Or in a nonsense…Okay, tell us why it took Jesus 3 ? years to pick you
GBM: He had to go over all the religions in the world while fighting a war with Satan, can you do two things at once? Huh, can you, can you? No you can’t neither could Jesus.
US: I suppose he could delegate….
GBM: You’re mocking again. He couldn’t delegate because he had to read them all himself
US: Jesus never heard of Evelyn Wood’s Speed Reading, I guess
GBM: Jesus can speed read, but it still took a long time, what with all the religions in the world US: He didn’t just rule out the non-Christian ones from the get-go
GBM: No, for all he knew the Faithful and Discreet Slave could have been the Buddhists
US: Sounds like heaven could use some drug testing
GBM: There you go again, mocking me. This is why I don’t do interviews.
US: I’m sorry, but it is a little ridiculous to say that Jesus, who performed miracles, would have to take three years to read all the religious writings in the world
GBM: Well that’s what happened
US: If you say so….
GBM: We most definitely say so! That’s how we know its true, because Jehovah revealed it through his channel of communication
US: I thought you were his channel of communication
GBM: Well, the organization is yes
US: So you know what you say is true because you say it
GBM: Yes, in a manner of speaking
US: But haven’t you said many embarrassingly wrong things?
GBM: We don’t claim to be perfect
US: Well that would be a stupid thing to claim, wouldn’t it
GBM: We are not inspired prophets
US: I was unaware that there was such a thing as an uninspired prophet
GBM: As I was saying, we are not inspired by the holy spirit, just guided by it
US: What’s the difference?
GBM: If you’re inspired you can’t be wrong, if you’re guided you can
US: I see…but how can you tell the difference between a false prophet and a non-inspired non-prophet that is guided by the holy spirit. Don’t they both predict things that won’t happen? GBM: Actually, most people think a false prophet is one that prophecies falsely
US: Like God, for example
GBM: Ahem, but such is not the case, a false prophet is someone that believes in the Trinity
US: Imagine my suprise
GBM: Well of course you’re suprised, the churches of Christendom just don’t teach this to people US: But doesn’t the Bible define a false prophet as one that predicts something that doesn’t happen?
GBM: Again, this is too deep for you, but there are cases of prophets predicting things that didn’t happen, like Jonah for example, so therefore false prophecy has nothing to do with prophesying falsely, it has to do with believing in the Trinity and hell fire.
US: That’s amazing
GBM: What, learning the truth
US: No, that you can say that with a straight face
GBM: Mocker, this interview is over
US: Wait, wait, can’t I just ask a few more questions
GBM: Okay, but you better change your attitude, why can’t you ask easy questions like "Where did Cain get his wife?"
US: Mail order bride?
GBM: No, he married his sister
US: People in West Virginia carry on that tradition, but back to JW’s…I would like to talk about prophecy for a minute
GBM: Oh boy here comes the boring "false prophecy" list put out by apostates and opposers
US: No, I think those quotes speak for themselves, I want to talk about the seven seals of Revelation
GBM: That is a very deep subject
US: I’ll do my best to keep up with you. So is it true that you claim that the seven trumpets of where seven resolutions at seven assemblies from 1922-1928? If this is so, why doesn’t anyone, other than a few JW’s that have to look it up, even know what the resolutions are?
GBM: Because of the conspiracy of silence on the part of the world’s news media
US: So God needs the media?
GBM: No, he doesn’t that’s why he used us to blast forth the bold symbolic trumpet messages US: Without looking them up, what where these messages?
GBM: I don’t recall off hand, but some of our cartoons from the thirties were also judgment messages from Jehovah
US: I have often felt that "Garfield" was a stinging judgment message from Jehovah against cat owners
GBM: That’s it, this interview is over
US: Perhaps we could talk again
GBM: Maybe, but you’re not really an "interested one."
US: Thank you for your time, I am certain that you have helped people come to a conclusion about Jehovah’s Witnesses

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Source: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/143538/2581294/post.ashx#2581294 or http://web.archive.org/web/19990210053357/home.sol.no/~jansh/wteng/gbinterview.htm

Anonymous said...

1st comment is correct about it's origins on web.archive.org., later on JWD.

But it is a great paraody!

I know this sites 'borrowing' from JWD tends to upset some but look at this way.... a less timid lurker who isn't ready to swim in JWD waters can still get their feet wet by reading these reposts.

The web admin allowing us to post the original sources shows he/she/them are being good sports and have the same goals of exposing the hypocrisy of the WTS.

Anonymous said...

Well, if this interview is true (which I have reserves. it might not be true since it has no reference, no names...), JW are a FANATIC CULT which believe ANYTHING their GB wants them to believe.

jack said...
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jack said...
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jack said...
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Anonymous said...

why do you remove certain posts?

Ronde said...

It's as fake as everything else you post.

kimmy jo said...

Very funny interview! Pathetic and sadly enough, believable.
The organization is one big "bumble" right from it's very beginning to it's 6 million blind followers.

Anonymous said...

OF COURSE is this fake. how come that ppl dont recognize parody?

Ronde said...

It is disrespectful.

Anonymous said...

Deal with it Ronde. You are disrespectful. Your pathetic religion doesn't get to avoid criticism and parody - everything else gets parodied, why not your religion? Because the pathetic beliefs you insist on defending won't stand up to scratch?

Ronde said...

You are not parodying a religon,
You are disrespecting people. All because you have this mistaken belief that the governing body is at the top and they rule JWs.

It is Jesus that rules the JWs and the individuals themselves. The GB only oversee the congregations.

enigmatic said...

ronde said...

It is Jesus that rules the JWs and the individuals themselves. The GB only oversee the congregations.
------------------

With all do respect ronde, that certainly did not seem to be the case when I was disfellowshipped a few years ago.

I had moved to a small town in the midwest from the big city. After several years I was involved in a situation that required an elders meeting. After a brief meeting I was asked to step out. When I came back in they informed me that they had decided to disfellowship me.

I was stunned. From my lifelong and heavy involvement in the org, I knew that several important steps had been skipped. Furthermore, I came to them to confess and was begging for their help. I felt I had no other choice but to appeal.

The appeal committee heard the case, asked much more, listened, asked more. I stepped out but could still hear some of the conversation that transpired. Among the things said were counsel from the appeal committee letting the local body know that they didn't agree with their decision and the way they handled it.

It was determined that the decision would be turned over to the 'brothers in brooklyn', NY, and I would have to wait for a decision.

This decision hung over me for the next 2 1/2 months during which I remained actively involved but on restriction. On a cold afternoon in January, an hour and a half before the school and service meeting, I received a call from a brother on the appeal committee who said he felt badly but the "society" had made the decision to disfellowship and that it would be announced that night.

No letter or card from jesus, no phone call from him to let me know my individual spiritual fate. Just 2 1/2 months of psychological and emotional torture while the 'society' in NY determined my fate.

Declaring that you only answer to jesus, not an earthly, human figure does not magically remove the org from a cult status. It just makes me question your knowledge and experience as a witness. To claim that individuals are ruled over by jesus, not the gb and socety, is a statement that relies on mental imagery and not public record.

Anonymous said...

Ronde, you are defending an illusion. The governing body IS at the top, and yes, they do RULE all JWs. Try stepping out of line and see what happens. Your insistence of the opposite doesn't make it so. Saying it a million time doesn't make it any more true. You remain mentally chained. I can only pity you, because when you summon the courage to free yourself, you'll turn out to be even more outspoken about this destructive cult.

Ronde said...

enigma said:

"With all do respect ronde, that certainly did not seem to be the case when I was disfellowshipped a few years ago."

Well, judging by what you say here and your attitude, you deserve it because of how you are acting now.

You are not repentant.

You said "From my lifelong and heavy involvement in the org, I knew that several important steps had been skipped."

But what you should have said was from your lifelong following of Jesus, you would follow counsel and repent.

But what you stated does not disagree with what I said. The GB oversees the congregation. It did that in your case. They saw that you were a problem as you are exhibiting now.

So why blame them when the fault was your own.

Ronde said...

GBLetters said:

"Try stepping out of line and see what happens."

How can I step out of line when I am not in line?

This is not a military arrangement. There is no line.

" Your insistence of the opposite doesn't make it so."

My life does.

" Saying it a million time doesn't make it any more true."

Living it does.

Anonymous said...

If you're not in line, why do you insist on defending a putrid disgusting religion that's done nothing but ruin the lives of millions of people? Why do you continue to delude yourself that it's the truth?
Your non-answers make it evident that you're firmly deluding yourself. You just want to hold onto something that gives your life meaning, and I understand such a feeling. But you're deluding yourself.

PS: Flattered as I am, I doubt the author of this blog agrees with my sentiments, though we both be ex-JWs. Deviate from your script ronde - the blog owner isn't atheist. I am. Pathetic. Can't even read, much less understand. No wonder you insist on defending JWs..

Ronde said...

"If you're not in line, why do you insist on defending a putrid disgusting religion that's done nothing but ruin the lives of millions of people?"

The religion of Jehovah's Witnesses does not ruin anyone's life. Those who have had troubles have not followed it correctly.

enigmatic said...

ronde said..

Well, judging by what you say here and your attitude, you deserve it because of how you are acting now.

You are not repentant.
------------------

ronde,

I believe if you read my original contribution carefully and then your response, you should realize that you are confusing the timeline and, therefore, the causal relationship.

I realize that it is easier for you to disregard everything that is posted here as satan inspired, apostate ramblings. But all ex-jws were once jws, many of us as zealous or more than those who are in the org currently.

When I was disfellowshipped I was a sincere, hardworking, repentent member. That is why I went to the elders. I chose to go to them for help, they knew nothing of my 'sins'. I hated the idea of appealing because I believed that you should follow direction no matter what, and even if the brothers made a mistake, 'jehovah' would make sure things worked out and my faith would be tested.

I did appeal because I just didn't understand how/why they acted the way they did. Even after the decision, I humbly went along with it and started working my way back.

It was during this time of exclusion that I took a serious look at the possible fallibility of the brothers and questioned whether I was strong enough to beieve in jehovah to deliver me. I examined all of the examples of his dealings with sinners and came to the conclusion that I didn't feel he would find me worthy.

You used post hoc, hindsite analysis to determine that I should have been disfellowshipped because of my actions today. That just is not the case. Back then I truly believed in god, the organization, the whole package. I was repentant, I truly wanted to make things right with jehovah.

I am now an atheist, although I do not consider myself an apostate. First of all, I do not spend time actively launching hate campaigns against JWs, secondly I do not believe in the concept of apostacy as it pertains to religious teachings as I believe they are all based on mythology and show very little differences between denominations. My current worldview was shaped largely by the questions that were raised in my mind AFTER I was dfed. There is a very good chance I would still be in there with you slaving away happily away, waiting for the nonexistant 'end of this system'.

I was not disfellowshipped because I did not believe or was not repentent, but I currently do not believe and am not repentent due, to a great degree, to the manner in which I was disfellowshipped.

As you get older, every decade that passes that finds you continually answering to the challenges of non and former believers, keep this in mind. It could happen to you, rolling along, slip up a little and get yourself a case of bad/misjustice, then see how you feel. If you think it couldn't happen, remember the words of your Apostle Paul, watch out if you think youre standing...

Before you throw back a bunch of anger, scriptures, and 'corrections' based on your beliefs, try just taking a breath, relaxing, and contemplate the direction of causal relationships. In addition, consider the reality that as the jw org continues, yes continues to evolve in our social system, the time is reduced until disfellowshipping is modified and eventually eliminated. It may be 10, 20 or more years, but there will be time...

In the meantime, I hope that your spiritual path continues to bring you all of the happiness and contentment that you deserve.

Best regards

Ronde said...

Enigmatic:

"It was during this time of exclusion that I took a serious look at the possible fallibility of the brothers"

Possible fallibility? Of course they have fallibility. Duh.


"and questioned whether I was strong enough to beieve in jehovah to deliver me. I examined all of the examples of his dealings with sinners and came to the conclusion that I didn't feel he would find me worthy."

Well, you didn't listen enough or examine enough. I have listened to much that, rather than focusing on the bad, it focuses on how Jehovah looks at the good in us.


"You used post hoc, hindsite analysis to determine that I should have been disfellowshipped because of my actions today. "

Well, yeah. That was the case with Ray Franz also.

"Back then I truly believed in god, the organization, the whole package. I was repentant, I truly wanted to make things right with jehovah."

Well, none of that matters if what you are doing now.

enigmatic said...

ronde,

I will take the high road on this one and assume that you mean well and are a very sincere person.

Your commentary is spirited but misguided, often contradictary, and seldom if ever rational. I will chalk this up to your religious zeal, the same zeal that fuels irrational behavior in various religious forms worldwide. The jw org does a few things slightly different from other fundamentalist christian groups but mimics their unreasonable narrowmindedness.

With the many changes, new lights that get brighter every day, and the fallability that you claim to recognize ('duh'), it is certain that at least some of the things you believe in and defend so vigorously now are in fact wrong and will be 'corrected' when required by new medical, legal, or financial needs call for it. It is a curiosity then that you insist on being so adament about the accuracy of your positions.

I choose not to spend the time or energy to chase your rediculous contradictions. I have chatted with some rational, reasonable current members and found it interesting. You are not among that group.

As I stated previously,I hope that your spiritual path and selfrighteous sense of superiority continues to bring you all of the happiness and contentment that you deserve.

Best regards

Ronde said...

"It is a curiosity then that you insist on being so adament about the accuracy of your positions."

I don't insist on that. I just don't care. The blog owner cares about things like that but he gets his panties in a bunch over those meaningless things.

I really don't care about these things, and others should not either. It is just fun to point out how wrong they are.

But my positions about Jehovah's Witnesses as a religion are correct because the religion is based, not on the Watchtower or on the governing body but taking everything learned and heard and boiling it down to the bare necessities. None of which involves interviews with Governing body members.

The position of JWs is simple. Behave yourselves.