PLEASE, stop emailing me, for goodness sakes. This is a joke, just a joke! It's also rather an inside joke at that. I was talking to some people about the Watchtower's ability to translate it's literature into so many languages and I guess I got carried away. I apologize but I still think it's funny.
I have it on pretty good authority that the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society actually actually produced a functional Universal Translator down in John Kurzen's office in the Carpenter Shop. However, they ended up selling the rights to make them to Gene Roddenberry, the creator of star Trek, who made extensive use of them on the Enterprise. You probably didn't realize that all those guys on Star Trek were actually speaking their native tongues, which was then translated on the fly into English by the device they bought from the Watchtower organization. The Society had to sell it because, although it was quite good at translating Klingon, it tended to overheat badly when translating Watchtower articles. They briefly tried to use it to translate Bethel Office memos into language all the new Bethelites could understand, but again it tended to overheat. The last straw was when one of the UTs blew up trying to translate John Booth's morning text comments into English. Since they couldn't use it themselves, the only thing left to do was to sell it to Gene Rossenberry. Too bad, after all the work Dean Songer put into it.